“Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.” -Virginia Woolf
I put my soul in my writing. I can’t help it.
The mind is a terrifying place, complicated and convoluted, a mess of jumbled thoughts vying for attention. Have you ever tried to focus your thoughts? Meditate? Be still for even a few moments during the day? I have, and it is nearly impossible. It’s like a television that refuses to turn off, playing shows and advertisements, some new, some memorized, restless in the threat of silence.
Writing helps me clarify my mind, takes all of my wild ponderings and gives them order, making sense of the chaos that is me. It helps me to work through things, to discover what I truly believe, what is truth, and what is just the static of lies surrounding me.
When I started this blog, it was for selfish intent. I am writing a book, and I want people to know about it. You see, you are more likely to snag an agent, entice an editor, and book publishing deals, if you already have an audience anticipating your book’s release.
And to be honest, I really want my book to get published!
However, as I started writing these blog posts, I quickly found their content to be vastly more personal then I had intended. My husband tells me that I wear my heart on my sleeve, on my face, in my words. Well apparently I wear my soul in my writing.
And I am ok with that. Our world needs more vulnerability.
As with anyone, I have worked through a lot of junk in my life, a lot of wrong-thinking, inner turmoil, and suffering. I hope that as you read through future posts, that some will ring true in your life, show you that you are not alone, and leave you feeling encouraged with renewed hope.
That is what this blog is about. Hope. Hope for me, and I pray as well for you.
Yes, I will talk about my book. It is a huge aspect of my life at this moment, and I am overwhelmingly excited about sharing it with you. But mainly, I will talk about my journey in writing it, for it has proven to be a crazy one.
Growing up I was NOT a writer. Just ask my mom, she will tell you. Ask my sister, she will tell you even more enthusiastically…… I was not a writer. As a person who prided herself with stunning intelligence and outstanding school performance, I failed in the art of writing. Especially creative writing (yuck!), I mean you want me to talk about my own opinions, without any helpful restrictions or expectant outlines? Oh the torment.
I will let you in on a humbling secret: in middle school, I had a poetry section of English class, where we had to write and submit different examples demonstrating each style of poetry.
My mom wrote them for me.
Don’t blame her though, there are only so many agonizing hours a mother can sit listening to her daughter cry and torture herself, without even writing a single word, before she takes action. I would like to say that I am exaggerating, but she truly sat by my side for HOURS, while I cried, threw my pen across the room, and tried to kill my sister for writing better poems than me.
So imagine my surprise (and my family’s!) when God spoke to me, telling me to write a book. I have been praying for years that God would reveal my calling to me, and this was the last thing I ever expected Him to ask me to do. I had a hard time believing at first, but He confirmed it so many times, it soon became very obvious.
He said that it would be a fantasy story, and that it would speak His truths.
Well, it is a fantasy story, an unfamiliar broken world filled with magic and mystery, one that I hope will capture your heart as it has mine. It also speaks His truth, at least it has in my life. Through this writing journey, He has slowly revealed His heart to me, exposing pieces of myself and my mind that I have held hidden for so long.
In this blog, I hope to share some of these truths with you. Most of them, I am still discovering, but all of them have brought peace to my soul. Please read, and please comment. I would love to share in a piece of your journey as you share in mine. Tell me how I can pray, how I can encourage you in your life, or even how you disagree.
Don’t be shy, I promise I won’t be.